Jon Erickson e-mailed these jokes to me.
(Cimex/Releasit user - Vortex user - all around good guy)

Jon must know about my weird sense of humor.
Well he's right about my humor. I laughed my head off.
Enjoy!


I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the
doughtnut...I don't need a receipt for the doughnut -
I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of
transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into
this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to
prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical
friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut,
I've got the documentation right here... It's in my
file at home. ...Under "D"

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's
not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And
that's extra scary to me, because there's a large,
out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run.
He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its
positive name. They don't call it by its negative
name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to
clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that
would melt easily over tortilla chips...

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I
did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying... You're
supposed to yell 'fore' but I kept thinking there
ain't no way that's gonna hit him.

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang
around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs
to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say,
"what" and turn my head slightly...

I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone
number. Something like, 222-2222. I would say sweet.
People would say, "Mitch, how do I get ahold of you?"
I would say, "Press 2 for a while, and when I answer,
you will know that you have pressed 2 enough"

I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid
it said Please Try Again because they were having a
contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have
opened the yogurt wrong... or maybe Yoplait was trying
to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please
try again. A message of inspiration from your friends
at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

An escalator can never break. It can only become
stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily
Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily
Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed
potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time
to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to
insert a pause."

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this
guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to
move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there
was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable
and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want
2000 of something.

I like refried beans. I wanna try fried beans, because
maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time.






Rick Gelinas
encapman

Not bad at all .

Steven Wright sense of humor