This message board has been upgraded to a new forum with a number of user improvements.
You are currently viewing archived posts from the original EncapBoard (2002-2012).
Please visit the NEW EncapBoard carpet cleaning forum at http://Forum.Excellent-Supply.com to join an active online community for commercial carpet cleaning.

RETURN TO INDEX  

Not CC >> Understanding engineers

April 6 2008 at 2:44 AM
Shorty 

Comprehending Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

· To the optimist, the glass is half full.

· To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

· To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Comprehending Engineers - Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenkeeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


Comprehending Engineers - Take Four

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.

After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.

Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi million-dollar machines.

They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail.

In desperation, they called on the retired, engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.

At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is".

The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.

They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark $1 - knowing where to put it $49,999.

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.


Comprehending Engineers - Take Five

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.


Comprehending Engineers - Take Six

· The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

· The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

· The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

· The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


Comprehending Engineers - Take Seven

"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."


Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Ooroo

Shorty

I've seen the light, and changed my wicked ways.
www.get.shorty.com.au

 
 
AuthorReply
David Gelinas

Re: Not CC >> Understanding engineers

April 6 2008, 2:49 PM 

Shorty, that was extremely funny – thanks.

David Gelinas
Marbleguy

 
 
matt

Worth the read

April 8 2008, 3:10 PM 

Very very funny, thank you.

 
 
Current Topic - Not CC >> Understanding engineers
RETURN TO INDEX  
EncapBoard Guidelines: 
This forum has been provided by Excellent Supply Inc for sharing information about encapsulation cleaning technology and the business of commercial carpet cleaning.  
Excellent Supply Inc and its agents assume no responsibility for the accuracy of information displayed on this message board. You alone are responsible for any repercussions resulting from information posted here. Content posted on this message board may be used or published by Excellent Supply Inc. 
(1) Unauthorized advertising, promotion of rival products/brands, or listing items for sale without consent will not be permitted. 
(2) No profane, vulgar or abusive speech will be tolerated. Your privilege of posting may be blocked if you flame, use profanity, or are disrespectful. 
(3) We reserve the right to delete any post and block any  individual that we feel is inappropriate. 
(4) This forum is politically and religiously neutral, so please avoid discussing those subjects here.
(5) Maintain a good sense of humor! But keep it clean.
You are a guest here so we invite you to please post respectfully. Enjoy!

Cimex + Releasit = RESULTS
www.Excellent-Supply.com